TO THE HOLY FACE OF JESUS
From the Revelations on the Work of Reparation
Given by Our Lord to Sister Mary of Saint Peter and of the Holy Family
(The Golden Arrow; TAN Books, 2012; p. 110-111)
As there arose within me a doubt as to whether it was really our Lord Who had spoken to me, I then heard Him say:
“It is I, Jesus, present in the Blessed Sacrament Who speaks to you. I have various ways of communicating with souls. Are you not able to perceive how calm and how united your soul is to Me at present, whereas only recently it was a prey to many distractions? Begin to do as I tell you and you will soon experience many beneficial results.”
After that our Lord made me understand that I should not become attached to a devotion which gratifies the senses merely, and he gave me the light to see that people often follow after interior sweetness, thinking that they are following after Him.
Fulfilling our Lord’s command, I began fervently to honor those two loving Hearts of Jesus and Mary interiorly, and also exteriorly by embroidering pictures of these two hearts on scapulars, begging our Lord to save those who would wear them.
I also said to our Savior at this time, “I do not seek consolations in prayer, Oh, Lord. All I care for is Your glory and the salvation of souls.” Then offering my will to the Father, my memory to the Son, and my understanding to the Holy Ghost, I delivered myself entirely into the hands of God, and I understood that He intended to purify my soul through interior suffering.
Thus I was plunged into a gloom, and groping in darkness I was assailed by many temptations. But my worst suffering arose from my unbounded longing to love and glorify God. Nothing that I could do was able to satisfy me, and so I continued hungering for God, feeling within me my utter insufficiency, my sinfulness and my misery. Only God sustained me during this trial and yet I felt that I would not have exchanged this suffering for even the sweetest consolations, desiring only the glory of God and the salvation of souls.
In the meantime, not the least of my sufferings were those caused by the demon of blasphemy. Clinging to the cross while the tempest raged, I finally made bold to speak to God these words, “Oh, my God, You must know by now that I realize fully my nothingness and my misery!” By these words I meant to say, “It is enough, my God!” As long as I shall live I will know how to acknowledge Your gifts. Never shall I attribute them to myself because I am absolutely convinced that I myself am only indigence and nothingness!”
Interiorly urged to turn to our holy mother St. Teresa for help, I began a novena in her honor, and before it was finished, something happened to me which I will now relate.